return unescorted as we grow
Being a magnet that would attract crowd to being a loner and then finally turning into an autophile.. The journey is not as easy as it may seem.. But at end we gain a lot of wisdom and understand a deeper meaning of life that we otherwise would not realise... U have a sense of belongingness while u are a part of the crowd.. The energy comes to u through the people you associate yourself with.. U feel extremely important and loved. people can relate to u n u reciprocate the feeling.. u can perhaps hide your inner sel f in the crowd by being extremely visible.. you feel heard and validated with zero insecurities.. But over a period of time as the crowd continues to move the illusions get destroyed the naked truth dances in front of your eyes . . It's like you wake up to see the reality of life beyond illusion.. The process may sound appealing but its very heart breaking and painful. . It literally drags you to a point where you think all your beliefs and actions have been wrong all your life n mean nothing more than a cow crap. .your brain intervenes and says, "if some things are working well then what's the point of taking risk?".. To which the stupid heart says, "it's worth it".. Then the mind again tries to make u understand n says , ignorance is a bliss ..the more people u meet, the more disappointed u r gonna b... Realities are too dirty to be seen.. Be in your comfort zone.. No need to take Adventure trips . . U would have a hard time accepting the truth.. The herd that you thought you belonged to is no more there.. Crowd doesnt stay for long.. People move to their destinations.. No one cares for you.. You too move.. Otherwise you would b left behind. . Hear the truth, accept it and then handle it.. give up on people who don't care..That's all u can do.. Ur heart listens to this bullshit.. Decides to break up with the brain but then Gives it a thought.. N decide to try it.. N finally u start to sensibly analyse .. you see people who u thought you belonged to, actually belonged somewhere else.. The radius of your crowd circle decreases with each passing day n one fine day you are all by ur self.. You hate this feeling.. You want someone to come n tell u that u r dreaming   but, damn, that's not true.. You hate being alone with your thoughts  .. They don't let you breathe.. N constantly remind you of how wrong u have been all your life.. This fight goes on for while n then finally you surrender keep walking till u reconcile with your thoughts.. only If you are lucky ( If not, you end up in depression, get crazy, commit suicide, die or compromise). U gradually learn the art of enjoying  time with your thoughts.. U get time with yourself, u read books, u listen to music, you get time to go through the childhood photo albums n relish those memories..you organise and clean the stuff in your life, You reflect.. You repent.. You spend your energy in communicating with your creator, you stop chasing wrong things in life, you don't care about clueless opinions of people about u, you eat your favourite stuff, you take care of your body n soul, you are thankful to Allah.. N you see yourself sparkling. .No doubt the thoughts may at times taunt u but you gonna be wise in the end.. Till u fall in luv with ur solitude.. u can discuss anything with yourself without being judged, u don't have to care if anybody's sense of humour is supreme enough to understand ur vague and good for nothing jokes, u would rather be u .with no prejudice.. N that's when u decide .. U can never go back to the crowd n perhaps now with this attitude no crowd is gonna entertain u ever again. . You don't have skills in you to blend in any more..that feeling is bliss.. you are honest to yourself each moment. You see flowers bloom n that lightens up ur day... You are at peace for no apparent reason... You are enough for yourself .. ppl are way too much bothered when they don't find you looking for them . . Ppl hate u when u mind your own business.. They want to Poke their nose into your silence to destroy your peace but the sturdy ache in your heart to be alone disappoints them.. You decide to be quite but now u r not blind. . you understand and manage your emotions.. You no longer fix blames.. You are now a loner n not a loser U Rise up like a Phoenix after betrayal and brighten up your sky.. |
