anatomy of emptiness and of despair!

It is a tale – an anatomy of my emptiness, & of despair… of my life…

Life that is bright, rationally, a crackle of flames…

Color of dust blended with the color of haze …

Roads are like thin lines of white smoke…

One turning is like another…

Rough graveled surface all around…

It’s easier to get lost than to find a way…

No way to move along… no home to go back…

I am in a daze; I don’t see anything…

Yet a desire is aggravating my impatience...

I see life -making extraordinary excuses unexceptionally…

So I snooze in the same moment… wide awake… yet dreaming…

Thinking about the words you said, words become more than words…

And I get lost for quite sometime…

Melancholy comes like a fatigue...

A sense of doom…

I come back to this world where words are again just like words, fake and bogus…

I decide to come out of this agony … To trace a way back at any price…

I find your words again stopping me… not letting me go…

Fresh tears accumulate in the corners of my eyes but...

I don’t let them descend I just hold them back because...

tears become more than tears when they tend to come out because of you…

Then, destructive urge comes on me at times…

I want to see fire everywhere…

I stop and think there is no hope of improvement…

Revolving great thoughts in my heart I try to configure the rare world I m in… n then I wake up … n realize that I was actually dead to the world … was taking a nap….. n life is beautiful... as it is!

wonder of luving that sans fear of loosing!

I always desired myself

to be all over the place... place where you walk bare-footed…

I wondered you might sneak a look before taking a step…

Unevitably I was driven to you as a moth is driven to flame &

Staying away from you became immeasurably agonizing… but then…

Another stalwart feeling magnetized me…

Little by little I started to trust myself…

Now gone are the days when my eyes used rummage around to see you every now and then…

No longer do I tussle with my feelings…

Not stifled any longer…

My eyes do not crave for you anymore…

& M not afraid of loosing you now…

Instead…

M at peace …. At complete harmony with my feelings…

At peace amidst of violence…NOW I KNOW…

Your soul is togged up in peace with my spirit…

You are the attribute of my own essence…

That I need not to look for you in every nook and corner...

Just a single glimpse in my heart would do…

I can feel you with me all the time…

Sense your warmth…

I have found my paradise where Feelings are coagulated out into great passion …

I m ecstatic for I discovered myself, ascertained the reason of my existence… discovered wonder of loving that sans fear of losing ... now I can feel the whispering music of the brook in my soul… Its kind of eternal… now I love you in the best way I can…

When you left I lost a part of me…

It is not possible.

It cannot be happening.. No, not to me….

It is all a nightmare.

I am gonna wake up anytime and it is going to be six o’ clock in the morning and

I am going to get dressed and start living a blissful life with you by my side … ah! This was my initial response…

But as time passed I had no option but to accept what was predestined…

There is an empty lonely bottomless feeling entrenched deep inside me…

I can’t stop my feeling… don’t have control over it now… I can not get along without you…

M almost caged inside a hell now ...my heart is bleeding out 4 u… I tried so hard to escape but m lost…

People said that as time went by, I would feel better but it’s not true… every day makes it worse!

I was so cold u warmed me, u gave me my pride back... n now since u left I m trembling on my own foundation…

Who is gonna gimme shoulder to lean on when times get rough…

Who is gonna talk to till the sun comes up…

Every window pane is shattering…

Cutting up my words before I speak…

In the circle of your memos when I try to accept u are not here with me in the flesh, I end where I begin…

Tell me what you suggest that I do with the rest of my life????

...i know not...

Even when you are not around,

I feel the pulse of your feelings… of Love or hatred … I know not….

The best of times or the worst of times... I know not…

My heart pounds so hard that it becomes thorny to breathe

Good or bad ... I know not

Your venomous glimpse makes me shrink inside my own skin… real or fake… I know not…

The desires within me burn smolder sturdily but

Why bone deep chill runs down through my spine …I know not…

I feel at peace amidst of violence… sunny or stormy…I know not

I discover the essence of my existence… find my paradise…

I find what I’ve been looking for…but about you I know not….

Eradicating child labour

Let’s protect the rights of children

CONCERN BY AFSHAN GAZI


Childhood is the formative phase in the life of an individual. Life moves on with so many ups and downs. So every child deserves a superior childhood, good education, an opportunity to get pleasure from life.
Dream of a boy merely 7-8 years old, in shreds, approaching you anywhere may be in a local bus or on a busy street and telling you “I yearn to be dressed in a school uniform- white shirt. I crave to be present at a school, desire to study and aspire to be an adorable and an endearing person in my society. However I’m not economically sound, what should I do?” What would you say in reply? And most importantly what would you suggest? Where should he go to fulfill his urge? You might not feel stunned as things like that often happen in Kashmir. You may not at all believe his words still out of empathy and kindnesses try to do something for him. What would you do? Pass a 10 rupee or a 100 rupee note thinking that you’ve done your job and still there are others to help him if he’s not lying. You will forget this incident as soon as you get down from that very bus or just get engaged with your other important issues…isn’t it so? But ask yourself have you done all that was in your power to save that child’s future if he wasn’t lying… I bet your answer is a big no.
We, as elders always want to give our children the best. If it is factual and realistic then why are we so indifferent towards the Kashmiri children? Children who work as laborers? Children who have many rights but unfortunately these are least protected.
Have you ever been to Sunday market or Batmaloo? If not, you must once at least visit those places and you’ll see the darkness of our future. Our children work for hours together to do all kinds of dangerous work and we are the people who abuse them if they retard their speed of doing work. In 2006 India strengthened its laws by extending the definition of hazardous work to include domestic labor and catering establishments but there is virtually no evidence of enforcement. Beneath the veneer of emerging super power India hundreds of millions face a daily struggle for essentials. Whenever you talk to some educated person about child labor, he would definitely give you a lecture concurring that it should not happen in our society but finally if you go just peep through a keyhole into his domicile you would surely find small children doing big things. It is true with most of the working ladies who fetch a young poor boy or a girl and make him/ her work at their residences… nevertheless, it's a tradition now a days.
In my society, youngsters are often seen fighting for their rights at home and other institutions. They want to spend more time outside their homes, spend money more lavishly, and squabble with their parents for gadgets like mobile phones, laptops, bikes and cars. With the growing age these demands increase considerably. Ask yourself doth it not happen? But have you yet contemplated about the children who are forced to work against their will and do not even have the basic rights. Child who should have a satchel in his hand filled with books is carrying polythene bags to sell them. There are many cases where parents sell their children as a bonded labor for a petty sum of money. To eradicate poverty we’ve created a new issue called child labor.
Mostly people believe that poverty forces children to leave the studies and work as slaves instead. But my dear fellow beings, it is not always so. In Kashmir, children work just for the sake of tradition or just that they don’t want to study. There are a number of people who have a firm belief that child labor is a usual practice in a developing nation-state like ours and these unwise and imprudent lay people cannot comprehend the potential of these children if given a chance to become doctors, engineers, scientists’ especially good humans and good citizens.
Population explosion that is considered to be one of the greatest threats to a nation’s economy can also prove to be beneficial… It’s just that we need to formulate this explosion into a resource for us and for our state. We need to bestow our children with quality and proper academic and moral education. Once we do so, our innovative youth can take the responsibility and run the world the way they want to and can give us all the idea of profit. We don’t always need to help such people with money… but a bit of care and counseling. In most of the cases children who work as labors in Kashmir have money in their pockets and a very young head on their shoulders…you can yourself imagine how disastrous can it be for us? Let’s come together and make child labor a history for our state.

(Feedback at: gazi.afi@gmail.com)

BAFFLED

Don’t know what’s going on and how exactly things are supposed to be…

I find myself:

Smiling when I m at lowest…

Laughing when I see no humor at all…

Helping others when I need help myself…

Feeling sorry for people who I guess are living in mental state akin to colorblindness when my own senses are numb…

Even now when I m trying to put my pen to paper I find it recondite to collect my scattered thought. My globe is at a halt…

I wanna feel easier in my mind, so I may pay attention a little better and feel significantly better… but in spite of all these feelings I m happy to know that I m braver than I think… I can smile when I m sad...It’s in itself an achievement…

feelings cryatallized

Everytime i look around i expect to see you there..

i want to curl up into a tiny ball...

want to disappear..

..i want u to forgive me...coz..

i dont think i can go on without you..

you were my life- a reason to live, kinda best friend.. and

now i've none..

but i cannot run away from memories...

i would carry them with me like a painting in my mind...

memories...will be with me in the depths of my soul

i m here ossified, thinking about my past,

how you came and trasformed my whole life...

i dont know what to do; what to say, i m devastated..

feels as if nuffin would be convenient again ever in life..

i lost the power to change things..

..to make things happen..

..here m i ..hung up, worried n frustated..

i gotta feeling incomplete in my heart

u've been with me through the joys of

triumph and lonliness of tragedy...

cracking jokes with you, i'd drawn a veil of illusion

about our growing friendship, pretending its nothing more..

but in the solitude of night, when my secret thoughts would

run free i knew u had become more than a friend...

these thoughts always sent my senses spinning...

n now since u r not around..all feelings seem to be

crystallised for a moment called lifetime!!